welcome to my blog! this is a journal for my thoughts, feelings, & brain jargon
07/16/2025 - 11:01pm CT
07/16/2025 - 11:01pm CT
good evening! i was able to bike yesterday evening for 13 miles around downtown at an average speed of 13mph. luckily the lack of sleep did not stop me from getting a bike in. i am also planning on going to ride with a large group downtown tomorrow for probably 10-15 miles. i’m trying to get my routine for biking a minimum of 5 days a week. starting out a hobby/habit can be difficult though. i have been taking a rest day in between bike rides so i don’t obliterate my muscles. but i am going to try to ride every day between thursday - saturday. i think my 100 miles/month goal will be easy to hit. i am already somewhere around 30-40 miles this month.
gf and i got some foster cats today. two boys that we named nandor and gizmo after the characters in the show “what we do in the shadows”. nandor was throwing up a little bit and having issues using the bathroom but is starting to feel better as the night progresses. gizmo is really friendly but i think he may be a little sick. when he meows its very “breathy” and little sound comes out. regardless, these two little dudes are super cute and friendly. i think they will be adopted as soon as the adoption window opens.
this weekend is looking pretty clear for me so i am going to spend some time working on my acoustic album. i have 4 songs recorded so far but need to record somewhere between 10-13 more songs (and i keep on writing more songs so the list increases). i really want to schedule my next show, but i want to get this album recorded before i set anything on the calendar. my goal this weekend is to record 3-5 songs. hoping to average 2 songs a day. maybe i can get more done if i lock in though.
making decisions every day on what hobby i want to invest time in, or if i need to do some sort of physical activity, or chore can be so exhausting. i feel like the weekdays fly by and weekends are jam packed. i hope this feeling slows down as i get older and more solid with my habits and routine. i really feel like the whole balancing act between adult responsibility, social life, work life, relationships, finances, and enjoying life is a delicate line which fluctuates frequently. sometimes one area takes more time than others even if those areas are running thin.
anyways, i am off to bed. excited for tomorrow’s bike ride and hopefully wrapping up a report at work!
07/15/2025 - 1:55am CT
07/15/2025 - 1:55am CT
just spent the last 5 hours giving my website a major overhaul. i switched from a website where i had to code everything myself to one where i didn’t because i no longer have the time to continue learning html/css. was able to get several weeks worth of coding work over in the course of 5 hours lol.
many things have happened since april. i travelled a lot for work over the course of the last two months and lost a solid month of free time due to the work stint. not the worst situation i’ve ever been in but it definitely gave me a better appreciation for what i have here at home. immediately after work travel stopped, i spent time baking in the sun and surfing back at the family beach house. pretty sick i was able to do that. caught some good waves and taught my gf’s sister how to surf. we also went to medieval times for the first time and had a blast. not going to lie though, i was kinda sick (mild sinus infection) throughout the vacation so it wasn’t as good as it should have been >:( my gf and i got some vintage bikes and i have been getting really into cycling. i was planning on going on a ride tomorrow morning but i think that is out of the question now that i have been working on the site for so long lmao. maybe i can get one in when the sun starts going down tomorrow. im trying to bike 4-5 days a week, hitting somewhere between 5-10 miles per ride. my first goal is to hit 100 miles per month. i have already noticed a big improvement in how i feel: significantly less joint and back pain, feeling tighter in the abdomen/core, and easier to go on longer walks. training in the heat really does something to you i guess. hoping to make cycling a habit by the end of the summer. i don’t really like biking by myself yet though, not comfortable enough on the road but it’s slowly coming along.
today was a big day too. i had an eye exam and took my car to get some maintenance. hoping they don’t find anything out of the ordinary. i am also hoping that taking the car in regularly will keep it well maintained so i can decrease the frequency i have to replace parts.
anyways, i am really excited about the website now. it’s so much easier to upload and manage. i liked coding the website, and it was 1/4 of the cost of the hosting site i use, but i just don’t have the time to do what i want with the website. hopefully i will be able to get all of my art up and get this website how i imagined it a year ago!
04/20/2025 - 8:27pm CT
04/20/2025 - 8:27pm CT
had some time to update and organize some of my code. slowly learning html and i realized i have so much work i need to put into this site lol. that's alright though because i am back at it and editing it when i can!
i uploaded a new album today. it is like an electronic deep house/synthwave album so if you like that type of music you should check out my music page. i hope you enjoy it! i started recording this album back in 2023 and has been a work in progress since then. long time to sit on a project but i have learned so much from messing around. i am excited to explore future electronic type stuff.
a nice short and sweet blog today to keep it simple. see ya later!
04/18/2025 - 10:36 pm CT
04/18/2025 - 10:36 pm CT
wow it has been a freakin second dude. honestly, did not really have much time or wasn't thinking about updating my blog or my website. i need to spend some time doing this because i have done some more music stuff, and i still need to update my art section too lol. anyways, my past 4 months have been insane. i've been busy in both my professional life and my personal life. i moved in with my girlfriend in a beautiful place. literally not even a week later our freaking cat died way way way too young. she had kidney disease and we caught it too late. there's a whole mess with how this shit happened, but short story is that several vets completely ignored the signs in her urine tests that showed she had high levels of kidney disease related chemicals. really pissed off my gf and i. we got another opinion and boom, kidney failure at 4.5 years old. that was a hard week...gosh. we cried a lot, and spent lots of time cuddling up with our cat. a little over a week after her diagnosis, she passed away at the vet. we were trying to get her to feel better but she just couldn't hold on anymore. february was a pretty dang rough month for us. i'm sitting here crying again jeez. i miss her...a lot. life feels a little bit more empty without her around. we still have two cats, and three was certainly a handful. i just never realized how much of a connection i had made with her until after she passed away (she was originally my gf's cat and i am her "stepdad" as we say around the house). i was just looking back through my pictures of her, and i forgot only a month before she passed away i got the absolute cutest and sweetest picture of her and her sister cuddling together in a cardboard box. i will 100% upload it to the site whenever i can get the portion of the website written. gosh, emotional little heartfelt moment there i just had by myself.
i also had to take a short break from literally everything due to some personal reasons so that was no fun. but other than those things, everything else has been well. i am working on releasing a new album soon. my first new release in 2 years. it's an electronic album that is kinda spacey vibes. also my gf and i are really enjoying the new place. we like to eat our lunches and dinners outside on our porch and have a ton of natural light. it has been good practice for me to appreciate the small things in life that i have. like a really cozy gaming/music room, an awesome gf, two incredible kitties, a loving family, a good job, a car i love, and a good amount of good friends. i am very grateful for those things and i cherish them deeply.
i am going to stop right here, but i just wanted to give a quick update on my life here. i really want to get back into journaling on my blog again. i have missed doing this. it is a really good place to get my thoughts out. and i appreciate having a place where i can share them freely!
12/19/2024 - 2:42pm CT
12/19/2024 - 2:42pm CT
it's been a few days since i last posted. i've been super busy at work and at home with the holidays coming up. i got my new keyboard today woo! i am writing this post on my ipad but with the new keyboard using the bluetooth connection. so far i really like the keyboard. it sounds wonderful and has an insane amount of options for rgb lighting. i currently have it on green with key presses turning the keys white when you type. it is pretty cool in my opinion. i am excited to be able to take this keyboard on trips and type while i ride in the passenger seat, or sit in bed, or whatever else.i nwould love to use this on a plane, but i am afraid the sound may annoy some people around me. right now, the keyboard has me wanting to start writing short stories or sometyhing. i feel like i have a typewriter lmao. there are definitely more poetry and stories are in my future.... or at least i am enjoying fantasizing about it right now haha.
i am about to visit my family for a few days for the holidays. i asked for some music stuff and am excited to get to spend some uninterrupted time around them. i am trying to figure out how to balance my bag so i have enough room to bring home any gifts, but also bring enough stuff to keep myself entertained (since i am flying). i am thinking about reading a lot, draw, play switch, and write some too. now that i know i can edit html on my ipad i will probably write some blog posts as well.
finally, last night my girlfriend and i had a movie night and got some snacks, popcorn, and hot chocolate. we watched the princess bride and the holiday. i forgot how funny the princess bride is. i don't think i have seen that movie in a few years and i kept on laughing. the girlfriend and i wore matching pajama pants we got from target (the green ones with skiers and trees) too which was nice. we are going to go look at lights and get our stocking stuffers for each other tomorrow which i am excited for. i am looking forward to celebrating with her and with my family. it's going to be a busy week but it is going to be lots of fun.
12/11/2024 - 11:49pm CT
12/11/2024 - 11:49pm CT
i decided going to eventually start all of my html writing in notepad. i think i will download it later this week or something. i discovered every time i click save in the web based editor on neocities that it updates on the feed. not that i have any followers, but i still would rather have a "clean" site that represents my changes better lol. i am really just using the web based editor because i have been feeling lazy this week and did not want to install any new stuff on my laptop.
my allergies have been particularly bad today. i have been sneezing a bunch and very itchy eyes, at least i am hoping they are allergies. i have been having similar symptoms since i moved states, and have noticed it tends to get worse after it rains and we just had a huge rain here. i honestly need to go to the doctor or something. the allergies have gotten a lot better than when i first moved in, but they are definitely still around. itchy eyes, runny nose, stuffed nose, sneezing, post nasal drip...all the fun stuff. i take over-the-counter allergy meds when it gets bad, forgot to today but i will take some if i wake up tomorrow with a stuffed nose. for some reason sleeping tends to help out.
in other news i went down the alien conspiracy theory rabbit hole again today. i saw a video online of the government talking about the recent "drone" sightings in new jersey recently. they say it is not usa tech, nor anyone elses tech. i'm curious to see where this goes. i have slightly followed alien/ufo/uap stuff over the last 10 years. it is wild that we have recently had a lot more news outlets covering ufo stories. maybe it is getting harder to cover it up? maybe it will be a flase flag for the next dose of government issued loss of privacy? i don't know. but don't think i am some crazy conspiracy guy who believes in weird shit. nahhhhh....i just find it fun to think about the what ifs and waste some of my brains energy thinking about aliens. i actually think i got out of the conspiracy world right at the right time. i noticed that the number of far-right/ultra-conservative conspiracy theories popping up before the tr*mp campaign was absolutely insane. of course targeting people who are probably more suceptible to things without much proof. all they need is a few images made in photoshop and boom, good to go. it is unfortunate to think how crap-filled the conspiracy theory community has been since 2015 or so. anyways.....
i bought a mechanical keyboard today for my desktop. i have been using the standard cyberpower keyboard that came with my computer and it annoys me so much. honestly, the sound doesn't really bother me since i game with closed-back headphones on...BUT THE HEIGHT OF THE KEYBOARD OMG. i am used to the low profile keyboard on laptops so i ordered the nuphy air96 v2 low profile keyboard with the cowberry switches. listened to all of the different sounds of the keyboards and it was by far my favorite sound. getting back to the profile, my current keyboard is kinda tiring to play games and write on. hopefully the keyboard will come by friday. the website said it ships within one to two business days, but i am unsure if that means that is when it leaves the warehouse or when it will arrive. just hoping i can get it by this weekend at the latest.
my final thought of the evening...i need to go to the grocery store bad. i am out of pretty much everything. i have stockpile of food that is easy for me to make in case i have little time, run low on regular food, or get depressed. for example, i resort to making oatmeal for breakfast wwhen i run out of cereal since it is quick, but since it is my backup it is a good indication when i need to grocery shop. i also keep spaghetti for dinner and grilled cheese/tomato soup for lunch. [side note, i have sneezed like 15 times since i started writing this post and it is annoying me right now] .i am trying to see if i can hold out going to the store until sunday and get creative with my dinners. i definitely will be eating spaghetti one night for dinner. i have dinner plans on saturday so no worries about that. i need to figure out what i will eat tomorrow, probably spaghetti, and friday. then sunday, to the store!
12/10/2024 - 11:19 pm CT
12/10/2024 - 11:19 pm CT
today was a chill day. i wrapped up work and spent some time playing no man's sky with a friend; he got me it for christmas to play togetether. i hadn't played it in a while and totally forgot how much i enjoyed playing the game. it has come a long way since i last played it. improved many of the ui elements and added a bunch more stuff to the game. i definitely will be playing it, especially as i have some time off coming up.
i started reading one punch man last night. i got the first two volumes at a local used books store. i watched the animated show a few years ago when it first came out and loved it. i am enjoying the first volume so far. i read about half of it in thirty minutes (which i thought was a little short tbh). i am hoping the second half of the book has more dialogue in it, or maybe the second volume. regardless, i am going to definitely read the first two. thinking about getting into this manga as my first actual manga collection (because i loved the show so much). i will see if anything takes hold here, maybe the second one has better dialogue? or maybe i will get a few more volumes before making up my mind. i know that i want to make this decision on my own, so no reviews or looking anything up for this guy. if i waste another fifteen dollars getting a few more volumes whatever. at least the artwork is awesome.
as i am writing this i noticed my laptop battery has dropped forty percent over the last five minutes. maybe it is time for a new battery? i wonder if i could replace it myself, or if i should take it to a local computer repair shop. my inkling is i could probably do it, but i have never done it before. i will look it up tomorrow and see how hard it is to replace. maybe if its as easy as unplugging and plugging i will do it. otherwise i don't want to fuck anything up since this is my personal laptop. i would love to be able to sit on my couch and work on my website wihout having to have the laptop plugged in. this laptop is six or so years old so maybe it is time...which is stupid now that i think about it. however i have left the laptop plugged in all the time so i probably fried the battery (assuming it is similar to iphones). i will be more conscious of this next time haha.
12/09/2024 - 6:23pm CT
12/09/2024 - 6:23pm CT
i finally got some sort of running website up. i also spent way too much time on graphics than i should have. definitely going to take it slower now that i have something working. i didn't eat lunch today so i could work on this lol. i know i need to be better about eating, i either forget or get wrapped up in something during the week. regardless, i am very excited to get this website going.
i've been doing better with my mental health recently too. i was fed way too much negative news over the past month or so and have decided to take a break from that crap for a while. i think working on this website is going to be a good way for me to stay busy instead of doomscrolling. i'm trying to find more and more reasons to quit social media. but because of my art and music stuff, i still use it. getting really close to deleting reddit though. i've been good about not going on the news/popular tabs recently which has at least slightly persuaded me i can actually control myself lol.
in other news, i just rereleased my first full length album after spending a few weeks remastering, rerecording, and remixing it. it sounds so much better than it did before. i definitely have learned that getting a good recording is much more beneficial when you hit the stage where you are mastering and mixing. that album was recorded terribly lol. at least now i know, and my newer recordings i am working on sound way better.